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Centerfold Lounge 1024 N. Boulder Hwy., 702/564-7865. Forget those snobby topless bars with fancy tuxedo-clad bouncers, zillion dollar lighting systems and $10 cigars on sale in the lobby. If you’re a local and looking for a low-maintenance good time where lots of skin is involved, you want the Centerfold Lounge, an establishment with such a strong low-estate charm that local band the Opera Beggars immortalized it in song. Once dubbed “Boobies” and then “The Look-In,” the Centerfold serves up beer in a can, heavy metal music and a casual atmosphere where it’s okay to kick up your feet - just as long as you don’t accidentally kick one of the bikers ogling the fine lookin’ ladies. No cover.

Cheetah’s Topless Lounge 2112 Western Ave., 702/384-0074. A class act. Couples are welcome, the atmosphere is loud and the women individually beautiful. You’re just as likely to be tipping a mother of two, a moonlighting hairstylist or one of the several local band members as you are a UNLV freshman paying off that convertible VW. This is where the infamous Paul Verhoeven film Showgirls was shot (sadly, just a flesh wound), but don’t expect the full-contact lap dance that Kyle MacLachlan got from Elizabeth Berkley. Rules are rules, and the rule here is 12 inches - as in minimum distance from the customer. Ah, but rules are made to be broken, aren’t they?

Crazy Horse Too 2476 S. Industrial Rd., 702/382-8003. One of the oldest topless clubs in town, not even a recent Romanesque facelift can change the nature of CH2. For late-night rendezvous with old college buddies, CH2 is the place, strategically hidden underneath an overpass in the “industrial” section of town. The long center stage features several cuties at a time, while high-back booths allow a sense of intimacy for the omnipresent lapdance brigade work their mojo.

Club Paradise 4416 Paradise Rd., 702/734-7990. What do you get when you take a topless joint, add in cigar nights, plush velvet and a policy of hiring women without tattoos and piercings and requiring them to wear evening gowns instead of the far-more-interesting attire typically worn by strippers? You get a “Gentlemen’s Club.” If “upscale” strippers are your thing, you’ll dig it. Direct across the street from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

Deja Vu Showgirls 3247 S. Industrial Rd., 702/894-4167. The Mickey-D’s of flesh, Deja Vu has made a nationwide name for itself. Not a single Deja Vu across this great land varies from the theme - mirrored stages, gold-tone poles, loud DJs, themed nights featuring “amatuers,” Jello-wrestling and more - and its Sin City permutation is no exception.

Hide-N-Seek Health & Social Club 3084 S. Highland Dr., 702/650.2747. Yes, Virginia, there is now a 5000-square-foot swingers club in Las Vegas. No longer need you trouble Santa Claus with your breathless entreaties. A few singles are allowed on Wednesday and Thursday nights; otherwise it’s strictly couples only.

Lil’ Darlings 1514 Western Ave., 702/366.1633. True to its name, Lil’ Darlings features nude dancers who appear to be barely-legal (though the law guarantees they are), and is one of very few places that doesn’t serve alcohol and is open to patrons 18 and older - if they’ve got the dough, that is. A gaudy, mirrored stage and semi-enclosed private dance booths reinforce the Typical Strip Joint feel, and the stageside seating offers incomparable views of the nice - and the not-so-nice. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Olympic Garden Cabaret 1531 Las Vegas Blvd. South, 702/385-8987. Many “Gentlemen’s Clubs” (a misnomer in more ways than one) offer topless entertainment, but few do it with such brazenness as this fully-functioning and long-remodeled gigantic strip joint, known among local dancers as “Silicone Valley.” The OG offers up the Typical American Male’s Ideal “Dreamgirl” on about eight different stages simultaneously.

Palomino Club 1848 Las Vegas Blvd. North, 702/642-2984. Since 1969, the “world famous” Palomino has been presenting live, beautiful women who take it all off in an atmosphere completely unlike any other strip club in town. Patrons - primarily groups of rowdy male tourists, with a mixed couple here and there - are planted in structured rows of seating facing the main stage or the long runway that juts out into the audience. What parades down that runway is true burlesque - beautiful women in full fantasy costume slowly removing every last stitch. Note: the Palomino is the only all-nude establishment with a fully-incorporated bar. (See Spearmint Rhino.)

Red Rooster Swinger’s Club (Secret location; you’ll know where to look.) This is not a commercial establishment; it’s a private social club that has served the local and visiting swinger population since - well, for a really long time. Dance to the house DJ on the small parquet floor, play pool or darts, swim, jacuzzi, socialize or drink the liquor you brought. When it’s time to get adventurous, you can visit a variety of “public” and “private” rooms, or venture upstairs - “For Committed Couples Only.”

Spearmint Rhino 3344 S. Highland Dr., 702/796-3600. This “Gentleman’s Club” features totally topless dancers - and variety is its middle name. Amateur night at this adult cabaret is Wednesday; Thursday, Friday and Saturday an adult film star performs live on stage. This adult club is a refreshing addition to the club scene, offering high-end service that appeals to couples as well as single patrons.

Topless Girls of Glitter Gulch 20 E. Fremont St., 702/385-4774. As much as the city would like to shut it down forever, TGoGG is still doing boom business. The quality of the establishment is sometimes questionable; nonetheless it offers up some good old-fashioned Vegas smut in the middle of the high-voltage shopping mall that Fremont Street is trying to become.